She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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