U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
