You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You were trust falling into bushes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
