do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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