I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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