oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
