he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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