You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
