dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
