My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
