i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My first STD was from a foam party
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize