He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
