Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
