Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
