the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
