left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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