He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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