out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
