brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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