no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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