Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
