So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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