Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
