Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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