so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
