wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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