god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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