My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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