Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
