dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
