You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize