I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
