I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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