??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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