Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
