So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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