Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
two words: eviction party
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize