please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Boobs are out for the taking
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
