Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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