I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
