Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
