I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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