just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
