Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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