I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
