I wanna bring you to show and tell
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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