He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
