I wish I could punch you in the face.
She is in my trunk
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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