My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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