Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize