We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
