By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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