So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize