she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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