his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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