Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
