He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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