how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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