i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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