i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
