If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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