Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
