I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
