Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
