I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
