I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
