I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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