I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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