He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
