i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
