Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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