Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
