Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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