Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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