Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
People in love make me want to vomit
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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