All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
