You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
