absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
